Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Wow I was a Terrible Mother!!!

 I was reading a friends blog today about how she helps her kids be creative.  Hmmm... It started me thinking about 2 things- 1- my own childhood creative endeavors and 2- my children's creative exploits- or lack there of.  Being an old poop means you really do forget a lot of the past day to day stuff, but try as I might, I can only remember a few times I "crafted" with my kids.  I am ashamed to admit that when my kids were little they seemed to just play with toys and watch Mr. Rogers (I hated that show- that sickly sweet simpering man with his slippers and sweater made me want to gouge my eyes out, or his!) But the kids liked it and they liked Sesame Street too. ( OOOO that's a great "S" sentence-  sickly sweet simpering sweater-ed and slipper-ed man!! I must have osmosis-ed that from Sesame Street!) They never just sat like frozen lumps with their eyes glazed over and their mouths hanging open with drool threatening to spill out, hypnotized by the TV.  They were always playing with their toys and each other.  What was I doing?  Painting.  Every spare moment I got I used to watercolor and oil paint. SO now I am feeling like the worst mother alive.  I watch how my daughter makes crafts with her kids and feel guilty I didn't do that.  I did provide scissors, glue, crayons and play dough (home made play dough no less...does that count for anything??) and I think I even played with the dough with my kids on occasions.   Once I was really ambitious and bought a set of wood block tools and some linoleum blocks and we made block prints.  Did I teach MY kids how to paint?  Nope. I guess if they would have shown an interest I might have.  My only excuse is that I think I might have been a product of my own upbringing.  My Mom cooked and ironed and sewed and cleaned and my brothers and I were kind of on our own.  I don't hold that against my mom, (and I hope my kids don't hold it against me.) I kind of just thought up my own creative things to do, like drawing, making doll houses out of a shoe or kleenex box and junk laying around, making troll doll clothes by the hundreds, which is really funny because they were all the same...a rectangle piece of fabric with 2 holes cut in it for arms- a doughnut for a skirt and a "T" for pants.  LOVED IT!  I used to sit for hours drawing an A-framed house with all the furniture in it. But I was always playing at a friends house or playing outside, rain or shine, with the 50 kids who lived in our neighborhood.  Maybe it's too cold in Canada for that, and Moms need to figure out a way to keep their kids occupied.  We didn't watch TV during the day because all that was on was soap operas. No DVD's, no videos, but come 4 o clock we watched cartoons until dinner time.  When I got older, my Mom had me take a few art classes and one horrific modern dance class I can't even think about without dissolving into fits of laughter -hehehe- me and Becky Cannon, oh my good giddy aunt we were bad, but we had so much fun.  They actually, honest and truly, no word of a lie, had us pretend to be trees!! Can you see it- pre- teen/adolescent girls in training bras we didn't have any need for if you get my drift and leotards "willow-ing" our way across the floor. BWAHAHAHAH! oh this brings a chortling induced tear to my eye even as we speak.
My brothers were put in sports a bit- Scott played baseball, Wayne played football, and I can't remember what Cory did,  I got to go to tennis camp and I did become a fairly decent tennis player. But it was hot and I don't like hot, so it didn't last long.  I kind of think kids gravitate to what they like.  My kids didn't ask to craft.  Maybe I shouldn't have been waiting on them to ask- thus the guilt trip. But Whitney is one of the most creative people I know- she is awesome at so many things- sewing, cooking, taking literal crap from the dump or a garage sale and making them into incredible treasures.  She has an imagination and an eye.  She came with it.   I came with the artist in me.  It was fostered a bit by my parents but I seemed to come to it on my own. Kurt was amazing at sports.   He doesn't have a creative bone in his body, and that's ok.  Paige is a writer, singer and actress and when she want to she can draw very well.  I didn't make these kids- they made themselves.  I can't take much credit for them.  But they are all amazing adults, no thanks to me.  One thing they did get from me and that was a cheerleader.  When they did stuff, when they picked something to try, I was there.  Maybe that's ok too.  But try as I might, I can't shake the feeling that I should have done better.  Moms these days utterly impress me with the things they do with their kids.  Better moms?- probably.  Does that mean they love their kids more?  Nope, just means they have a different set of circumstances and different challenges to meet.  Does that mean I was a terrible Mom?  Jury is still out on that one.

6 comments:

Just Rhonda said...

oh stop it! Obviously you influenced your kids with your creativeness or else Whit wouldn't be creative as she is!

Christal said...

ditto to what Rhonda said you are amazing! and I don't craft with my kids but maybe once or twice a year.... I just send them to whit or Rhonda's ha ha! You are amazing.... your kids are lucky to have you .....your there for them and more supportive then most moms and your fun! and hip:) so there!

Paige said...

Out of a crafter or a best friend, I'll take the best friend any day, which is what you were. And clearly we were all influenced by you: Whitney with her creativeness; Kurt with his sports; and me with my theatrics. We picked those up by watching you and subsequently being supported by you.
And let's not forget about the amazing father in all of this!

this and that...now and then said...

That's just it, Rhonda- I wasn't creative then. Not quite sure where they get it from- I am thinking they are born with it??AND PAIGE...were?? WERE??? when did I lose that best friend status? Dang your kids get married and shazam- you are relegated to second fiddle ...heheheheheheh. I wasn't looking for compliments, but I'll take them- Just musing about how different things are now than they were when I was a kid and when I was raising my kids. Good luck with keeping up with the blog-us-fear /internet/pinterest mothering, Paige. Glad I don't have to go there! It makes me tired.

Anonymous said...

You're the best second mom i could have asked for!
love candace

whitney said...

Terrible, just terrible.

You were lucky, you could let your kids roam the neighborhood and not worry about them being abducted. The first house in Denver with the 4 open backyards was awesome. And that's what we wanted to do.
And we get idea overload from the internet. When really, they are just happy playing and using their imaginations. But Roman does love his crafts!