Sunday, September 18, 2011

Deep Thoughts...?

WOW- how time flies! True confession- I am not sure what to write about- thus the 3 week lag. I do, however, love lists so maybe I will just blab on about 10 random thoughts-which to be honest is all I really ever have, so what's new. These thoughts are not so very deep, as the blog title may suggest, and a pre-mentalpausal brain might not be the best place to root around in but- pfff - it's my blog, my thoughts. Actually, I should have titled this epistle "weird and or quirky things I do or think and wonder if anyone else does or thinks the same thing"...but that's painfully long. These aren't "Island of Misfit Toys" weird like you need to keep your children away, just a bit quirky says I.

1. Why do I work like a dog for 9 months, just seeming to wait for the summer so I can go play at the lake , and then most of the time at the lake I am wanting September to come so I can get back to a normal schedule??? I told you they were weird thoughts.

2. I have my hair cut by the same hairdresser a few times and when I don't like it , I want to change to another hairdresser but I am scared the first one will see me and be mad. And heaven forbid you change to another stylist in the same salon! Maybe that only happens in a small town, but that's a bit quirky. But really- have you ever wanted to rage at the stylist after they "style" your hair 4 3/4 inches above your head? I present the following rage that has popped into my head..."SERIOUSLY? That's the best you can do? Would you wear YOUR hair like this? Of course not. Look at you. Your hair is cute, hip and in style. Do you figure that just because I am older, I want to look like a throwback from Boy George?" You drive home all hunkered down in the seat praying you don't see anyone you know. Heck they wouldn't know you with that hair but they might wonder who is driving your car. I am only that brave in my head. I would never actually say that. On second thought, there may come a day when I am senile for real and that tirade may just come spilling out and then where will I of those old ladies that does her own and ends up with Easter colored hair, most likely. Oh the shame.

3. I fret and stew for months on end trying to make myself get an appointment for a mammogram. In all fairness, it's not the most pleasant experience. Sort of akin to repeatedly slamming your "mamm" in the refrigerator and then leaving it there whilst some total stranger makes small talk and tells you to hold still and don't breathe. I always want to chirp out " Well actually, just this very minute I was going to wiggle like crazy and take whopping, big huge breaths, in and out, in and out, just fill those lungs with life giving oxygen, but just for you, you are so darn sweet, I'll just hang hear. I'm all but breathless!" I hate those tools of the devil masquerading as medical tests. Colonoscopy? Don't even get me started. I know I know, they are for my own good but who thinks up these things? What demented brain conjures up the actual procedures? I can't even go there.

4. I have a hoarding problem. I know there are people out there who hoard fabric. My obsession isn't pathological, and I don't think I suffer from disposophobia. I hoard paper. Pretty paper, stationary, paper with interesting textures, paper bags, wrapping paper, scraps and big pieces alike. When last I was in New York, my friend took me to a hand made paper store and for sure and certain I had died and gone to mashed up pulp heaven! 2 hours, and $300 later I exited the store, drooling and mumbling, clutching my roll. Said roll of bliss had it's own seat on the subway. I don't know what I am going to do with it, I certainly can't CUT any of it. I am in hopes that some day when the novelty wheres off, some of it will end up in some artwork. And don't ask me to throw away a pretty gift bag. Unthinkable!

5. I can't hang my foot or arm over the bed. I have tried. I don't know if it hails from some childhood fear of Chester the Molester or Scary Larry being under there and grabbing my foot or arm but I just can't do it. Arms and legs inside the ride at all times is my motto! I don't even like to kneel by my bed to pray. I always want to kneel ON the bed. But Stewie doesn't think that's kosher so I have learned to kneel beside the bed... but please hurry!

6. I buy something new and then don't wear it, saving it for some special occasion that never comes. It only lasts for a month or two and then it's a slow process, only wearing it now an then. Until it gets paint on it. Then it's no big deal. Maybe I should just save myself the anguish and splat paint on everything new the minute it enters the house. All my clothes get paint on them at some point. Maybe that's where this stems from, but don't bet on it.

7. I love sarcasm. I am inexplicably drawn to sarcastic people. I love the humor. It is top notch humor in my book. It gets me into trouble more times than I want to count or remember. I should stop. I will stop when they stop. This is me stopping...hehehe.

8. I sit in the same seat every week at church. I get really ticked off when someone sits in my stall. If it's a Ned new guy, I give them the benefit of not knowing better, but if it's a regular, man that makes me mad. They should know that's my seat. I think they do it just to spite me! I know I am not the only one like this because our entire congregation does it. I don't go for the back row anymore in sacrament meeting- I am past that- but in classes- yea, there I am at the back. That would be me.

9. Are you a Mr. potatoes and gravy can't touch Mr. vegetables or salad? I used to be. I used to eat one thing on the plate at a time as well, until I had kids and actually wanted hot food. I learned to shovel it in and if all the Mr.s on the plate mixed and mingled, it was ok because they were all going to the same place anyway.

10. If you are still reading I will put one more just to make it an even 10. I have to "accomplish" something. Every day. I could never just sit and read a book the entire day. Except at the lake, I give myself permission to laze about. Even when I am sick I have to clean the room I'm in.- I don't recall many times of entire days in bed- just snatches here and there. Except when I was pregnant the first time. Oh man was I ever green! I did lay around then. If I get an inner ear infection I have to stay flat too- but it makes me barking mad. Heaven help me if I ever broke my back or something and had to lay still for a long time. Just shoot me.

There you have it. If you can admit to some of these quirks, please do- if not- I don't really want to know how weird I am so just humor me. Pat my head, nod and smile.