Now that will get your blood pumping!

Awe, the joys of nature! Every summer we pack up 82% of our belongings (this usually takes 3 or 4 trips) and head south to West Glacier and Lake Five, where we camp, water ski, fish, water ski and water ski. This year as you may already know from past posts, I also trained for and completed a small triathlon. While in the midst of said triathlon training, I borrowed a very nice and expensive street bike. I made the mistake of saying out loud that said bike was really groovy. So on my 33rd wedding anniversary, Stewart surprised me with a new nice and very expensive street bike of my own. I should say here that I really wasn't all that surprised because this is what always happens in the life of someone related to Stewie. Actually, you don't even need to be related. Close friends have received items they commented on. You say you like it, or you express interest in it, or you play with the toy once and look remotely interested in it, soon it will be yours. My hiking buddies want Stewart to do their shopping and outfit them for the trail as he has done for me, but I keep this to myself because I would have to declare bankruptcy. Example, I commented on another fellow hikers wide mouthed platypus water bottle for hiking, thus allowing for a slice of lemon in the water and the next week I had one, complete with a brush and cleaning supplies. This is how we roll at our house. Stewart is very generous and kind but has a severe shopping addiction. The internet, coupled with thrift stores has amlified this addiction a hundred fold. Oh well, it is what it is, eh! I digress- on with my original story.

Having a new bike required road testing, which I did post haste. I road to the highway and back and then decided to test the uphill gears. Smoooooth! This expensive bike was expensive for a reason! But hey, let's not get carried away, so I turned around. I had gone quite a bit further up hill than normal so thankfully I was able to shift down all the way before it happened. Picture it- I am all alone on a back road with no shoulder in Montana, so just in case a car comes, I am hugging the side of the road like a good responsible biker. I am going pretty fast but thinking in my head, "I better not get too carried away" - because I flew out of the campground without my helmet. Safety first. Just when I am enjoying this ride, I hear some extremely loud crashing noises to my right. I turn my head and there 5 feet from me is the biggest most ginormous very round and huge, large, big BIG bear. I could have run right over his toes-but I swerved like any kind biker would. That would possibly have ticked him off- YA THINK???!!!
I am very ashamed to admit that the first words out of my mouth were not G rated. I did preface those "S" words with a "HOLY", which should count for something...a prayer of sorts, don't you agree? And let me tell you, that expensive bike was worth every penny, because it fairly sprouted wings and flew down that road. I mused as I peddled for my life that I hoped he wasn't running after me because I knew if I turned my head to look and see if he was behind me I would most assuredly crash my new shiny expensive bike, so I just kept peddling and praying my PG rated prayer and soon I was back to the campground, where I did have to slow down to turn. That is when I thankfully saw he hadn't followed me.
I told the family about my encounter. Pffff, big deal Mom. Paige and Eric did give me the satisfaction of making their eyes get a bit bigger, but Kurt's comment was "Mom, God wouldn't save you from the bear with that mouth." hmmm-
You may think this is the end of the story...OH CONTRARE!
The next day a few other people came upon this bear and they too commented on how big it was. They were lucky, they were in their cars. Then one day on the beach we look way across the lake and there is a bear in the water. I can tell right away this was not my bear because he wasn't big enough. A few days after that, I have skied once and just finished my swim, the lake has returned to glass so it's time for another ski. I step to the beach infront of the boat, dawn my life jacket, grab my gloves and pick up my ski. Stewart says you better hurry, which he always says lest someone beat us out onto the lake and steal my glass. This time was different though. I start looking around to see who the offensive glass stealer is and there walking right down the beach toward me is a bear. Not my bear mind you, but a pretty sizable bear none the less and he is walking straight toward me. I have one glove on, I throw the other one at the boat and tell Stewart to GO! He says you don't even have your ski on. I don't care just go. He drives the boat out in the water and throws me the rope. I have my ski on my foot but not done up and I don't care. The bear is now where I was standing on the beach. Stewart is enjoying the view- and why shouldn't he? He is out in the water in a boat, but I am laying there like chicken on a string. I yell hit it and manage to hang on with my ski boot flapping and only one ski glove on, but I am up and happy to be away from the bear. I usually ski around the lake twice, but this morning I am opting for maybe six times around. But on the second pass I can't see the bear, so I let go and swim in to find a present from my new friend...a big pile of fresh bear poop complete with five pounds of undigested berries, sitting where my ski usually sits. Thank you very much. I reason berries are better than people parts, especially my own people parts. I think he was miffed because he wanted a turn on the ski. We can see the bushes moving and figure the bear is refilling his system with more berries which is better than filling his system with me. I am safe for now.
Story is still not over.
Later that day, the beach is now packed with people. I am out on my floaty, tied to a buoy, reading my kindle, loving life, wishing I had thought to bring a pop and chips with me. I hear people yelling and screaming and I look up to see my furry friend from this morning walking back down the beach. He is now six feet away from Stewart, Paige and Eric, who sit there calmly watching him. Then the dog barks. The bear runs and finally Stewart gets to have a little adrenaline rush, as he actually got out of his chair and at least turned around to watch where the bear was headed. Paige and Eric just sat there. ??????? How can they just sit there not even phased????
I don't get it. How can they be so calm? I am terrified of bears. Maybe it's because every summer while I was growing up, we went to Yellowstone and the bears were as thick as flies and they were always roaming all over the campground and my dad, being the enthusiastic photographer that he was, would give me and my brothers slices of bread, sit us on the hood of the car and tell us to feed the bears so he could take pictures. SERIOUSLY!!! What the schmeellll was he thinking? Talk about instilling your kid with nightmarish terror!
I have hiked the Glacier and Waterton mountains for 15 years and have only encountered bears two or three times. I actually hiked with a man who had been attacked by a mother grizz. His name is Johan Otter- Look him up!!! He was back 2 years after his attack hiking the same trail with the helicopter crew who rescued him and his daughter, and a National Geographic camera crew. His story was on TV. He showed us his scars and told us his story. His daughter, who was also attacked, had started that day with him and the camera crew, but was too traumatized to continue. It was quite a day!! I have a healthy respect for bears and more than a healthy fear of them, apparently.

Mr. bear walked across the beach three more times that day until the beach was pretty much empty. The fish and game guy was called. He wanted to set up a trap. Hmmm... maybe not right in the campground, ya think? He would have had 13 kids in that trap. But Ron, the man who owns the campground, took his German Shepherd dog and herded Mr. bear out of the campground and far down the road. I don't know if the bear came back. We came home. But we are headed back down to retrieve now 89% of our belongings and cart it all home. I guess we will find out if he's still lurking about. Maybe this time he'll want to wake board.