I know, I'm the only person in the whole wide world who doesn't LOVE and pine away for Cafe Rio. When last in Salt Lake City, Whitney, who would sell her first, second, and last born child to eat there, made us go to said dreaded restaurant. Not once, but TWICE. Two times the aggravation and assault on the ears, senses and taste buds! Well, it's not horrible food, (unless you make the mistake of ordering the fish taco, which sounded good on the sign and I love fish so in my ignorance thought it sounded good. Note: to those of you thinking "who orders a fish taco?" and "you got what you deserved," let me explain myself. I always watch the food channel, why I don't know because 1-it makes me hungry, and 2- the fish tacos people are having food conniptions over look sooo yummy, but they don't exist. They never seem to materialize, no matter where I try to find them. On the Cafe Rio sign it said fresh fish with coleslaw...NOT! The fish was not fresh and it was salmon. I could stay home and get salmon! SALMON is the only freaking fish they have in Canada! And coleslaw? This is the same dang lettuce you shovel on everything else in here, dag nab it, who are you trying to kid???!!!)
Back to why I hate Cafe Rio...
First of all you have to stand in line for an entire lifetime. To be fair, the first trip wasn't as bad because it was 2:30 in the afternoon and the "lunch crowd" had thinned considerably, so our wait wasn't too long, but long enough for me to read the menu and come up with fish taco. Actually, I am going to forget about the first trip, I have sort of blocked it out- it was a disaster...so I am going to give you an account of the second trip into hell on earth.
We waited just inside the door at the back of the line for literally 45 minutes. It wasn't too bad because we didn't have any hungry children to entertain (can you imagine???!!!) I was lucky enough to have my sis in law and Paige with me so the time passed by quite nicely. BUT 45 MINUTES? for this abuse???
The lady behind the glass that I am too short to see over says "Ihepya?"
I cleverly deduce that this must be where I give my order because you have to begin somewhere and this is as good a place as any. Because I took 2 years of Jr. Highschool Spanish, I will now translate for you. Ihepya translated means "good evening, I am sorry for the long wait, but Id be pleased as punch to take your order now." Isn't it funny how such a short word in a foreign language translates? And vise versa: In Japanese, domo arigato gozimass (sp?)translates to "thanks". Awe the intricacies and nuances of human verbal interactions. The art of communication! a pox on ....I digress.
Well after 45 minutes I still know only one thing...no fish taco. I don't know what I want because it all looks the same to me. Burrito, enchilada, casadilla, tostada... it all looks like a pile of lettuce.
Me-"I'll have the taco salad please." Why confuse the lady- it's all taco salad.
BLAM- tortilla slammed in a tin foil bowl. Now comes the hard part.
Taco Nazi-"backapino?"
Me-"pardon me?
Taco Nazi-"BACAPINO????" Dang-I got nuthin! I rise up on my tippy toes as high as I can and peer over the wall, hoping to maybe SEE what she's saying. She has her dripping spoon clutched tightly in her hand and I know if I don't say something in the next 1.4 seconds she's going to hit me with it. I search my brain trying to remember my 2 years of Jr. High Spanish but for the life of me, I can't recall bacapino. I do know that sometimes the "N" in pronounced ENYAY. Back-o pinyo? that can't be right. Biblioteca? Nope- that means library. Not entirely sure, but I don't think that's on the menu. I look at Paige for help. PPFFF! she's 5 foot tall, she can't even begin to see over the wall. I look desperately to the Nazi for a clue and she yells it even louder. OOOOH the volume helps!!! Black or pinto! "Black please." BLAM! drippy black beans are slammed onto the tortilla and then she says"rize?"
Me -Pardon me? (this is getting to be a habit)
Nazi- "RIZE?" Again with the volume- They must think I'm deaf. There are 400 people in there and it is kind of hard to hear. Rize- I comply- tip toes- not much help but the spoon is shaking in her hand so I figure what difference does it make, it's some kind of food and it's probably ok so I mutter yes please.
Balm- rice it hurled unceremoniously on top of the now runny gooey black mass. OHHHH, RICE! She glares at me, shoves my salad down the line and I am onto the next nazi. Darn it, I was just starting to
understand her. We had something going. A pithy conversation, she and
I. Oh well, I am nothing but resilient, so I move down the line,
girding my loins for the next test.
Nazi-"meed?" Shoot. One word, this should be easy.
Me- "pardon me?"
Nazi-"MEEEEED!" Again with the yelling and again with the tip toes. There are pans of "stuff" and her claw is racing around over the top of them. Hmmmmmm .I eek out "yes please?"
Nazi with one very angry eyebrow-" whakinemeedyowand??"
Think Carol- what's in a taco salad? Taco- meat MEED! CHICKEN!! I want chicken. I am very proud of myself now, but it doesn't last for long.
Second nazi proceeds with a string of totally illegible ingredients, one of which is sheese. You said it lady, SHEEEESH! Wait no I hate sheese, no sheese! Leedus? Not into temptation? yes please. Note: The amount of lettuce they hurl on your salad, taco, or enchilada is directionally proportionate to the size of your head and shoulders- how they know that size is beyond me because you are by now cowering behind the glass wall mumbling please, for the love of all that is holy, just put on what ever you would eat. Whitney has given me orders that she wants shredded lettuce, not chopped.......Yeah that's not going to happen- you're getting whatever the heck kind of leedus the nazi gives you, girlfriend!! I come away with salsa and who the heck knows what else but I am adamant that I want those little strips of hard taco shells on top of this mess. Who says there are not miracles in the last days? I tell her to put the hard little taco strips on top please. She does! I am cooking with gas now- I've got this mastered!! "dresin?" Pride goeth before the fall. Oh what fresh hell is this?
I fall back on my regular- "Pardon me?" "DRESIN?" as in you dumb, deaf ignorant gringo, Dresin DRESIN!!!! Salad dressing! Yes please. One eyebrow. WHHHHHHakine? OH. Whitney has given me very strick orders- Lime cilantro dressing. That's the part that makes all this eatable! Me-"Lime cilantro please." bang bam slam in the bag, pay your pesos and we are OUTTA HERE!!!!
I am wondering how my Canadian husband got through that gauntlet so unscathed. I ask him how he managed this. "I don't care what they are saying I just tell them what I want." SIGH. Well that might have been good to know an hour ago!!!
So we get home, through 2 feet of slush and snow and miles of traffic, with our piles of soggy lettuce, with who the heck knows what's under it, but hey, I got the hard little taco strips on top so I am deliriously happy, ecstatic beyond belief so get ready to go into gastronomic Nirvana people!!!! and we discover to our utter displeasure and dismay ust h(slight understatement) they have NOT given us lime cilantro dressing. Instead we have some oil on the top, dark green glop on the bottom goo that has congealed and doesn't smell very nice, and Whitney is furious. That's the best paaaaart, she wails . Yeah, I know- that's what makes the lettuce taste good. I refuse to go back. It is snowing and has been snowing for 3 days. I will not go back there for that abuse a third time. I look at the green crud and think to myself just pour it on, close your eyes and eat it! My sister in law, who is the kindest soul on the planet takes Whitney back to hell and retrieves the correct dressing. Just how they did that is still a mystery and will forever be a mystery to me. Just one of those things that you have to take on faith. I know they gave me the WRONG dressing to spite my ignorant, spanish illiterate self.
I do NOT heart Cafe Rio!!!! I could have gone to Cowboy Grub and had a lovely scone with honey and butter! Hey, maybe they have hooneyantbadder at Cafe Rio and I could have that on a tortilla.
I'll suggest that nestime I am drug to that place. I got news for ya.... NEVER AGAIN!!!!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
10 on Tuesday
Hmmm -skipped a few Tuesdays I see. ho hum.
1. Just got back from a trip with the entire family (minus Kurt, dag nab it-see #2) to Salt Lake City. We picked such an opportune time to travel...NOT! Freezing rain, followed by 2 feet of wet snow, creeping along at 40 klicks-that's kilometers for you American folk, up hill traffic came to a standstill on a mountain side outside of Helena, Montana, with both Paige and I doing the pee pee dance- Oh my lanta! 13 hours of frosty frozen fun.
2. Kurt was going to fly down the day after we went but the roads were so bad they opened and closed them off and on all day. Good thing because he ended up in the ditch. An angel showed up instantly(I am not kidding, where did this guy come from) with not one but two shovels and dug Kurt out. I told him to turn around and go home. SO he missed all the family fun and we missed him, but oh well, what ya gonna do when you live in a shoe???
3. We went down to visit my Mom. She was diagnosed with multiple cancers and given 2 months to live. This is not going to be a winter I will want to remember. But it was so good that she met all of her new great grandsons, whom she had never met with the exception of Roman. She did see him once when he was 6 months old. And my parents got to finally meet Eric, their newest grandson in law. Poor Eric was force fed ice cream and thrown into the deep end with half of the Davis clan- Sink or swim buddy!!!
4. We had a breakfast at my brothers house. 24 adults, 9 and 8.9/9th kids (Lindsay was in labor off and on throughout the day-yikes!) and 4 dogs. We had a marvelous time!! Sometimes its better to not know what you are missing... now I miss my family sooooo much!
5. We stayed with a friend of mine who I have known most of my life. Michele and her family made us so welcome- they opened their home and hearts to us and Scott made bacon at 10 pm for Paige. Paige has a new BFF!!!The snow was insane! We had to move broken tree branches to get in and out of the lane that they live on but it was absolutely breath taking! Beautiful! We all decided to move in for good.....just kidding Scott!
6. I am not going to talk about the election. Except to say once shame on him, twice shame on you!!! I do think that Mitt Romney is a good man and it would have been nice to see if he could make a difference for the country. I believe he was put there to make people accountable for their choices. It's just sad that everyone will be brought down in the process.
7. Back to work- pumped out two fun photo shop pieces this morning, sent them to New York and poooof! I love to hear "send us the files" No revisions, no tweaking. AWESOME! I called them "Flower Power"- Kind of a throw back to the 60's I suppose.
8. Before we left for Salt Lake, we said good bye to my niece, Gina Zilke. She died at the age of 41. Way too young! She had cancer..I am sensing a pattern which I really do not like. Why is it we can put men in space but we can't figure out how to do away with this horrid, insipid disease? My good friend Peggy Gurney is in the hospital with a second bout of it and another sweet friend's husband Don is fighting his second go round. Another friend has fought it back for the third time and she is doing well, which I am grateful for. Cancer reaches out and destroys each and every family at one time or another. It is all around me right now and I feel helpless in it's path. I do NOT heart cancer!!!
9. I am feeling like life is accelerating in some way, that things are coming to a head and there's going to be some very rocky times ahead for all of us. It makes me stop and wonder if I am prepared. I am betting that I am not as prepared as I should or could be. This next few months will be very challenging. I am thankful for my knowledge of a loving God who knows us all personally and who sees the big picture. Now more than ever we need to trust in him. That's all we may have to get us through.
10. BUT...right now I'm going to go split some heads at hockey! Too much doom and gloom is NOT good for the soul!
1. Just got back from a trip with the entire family (minus Kurt, dag nab it-see #2) to Salt Lake City. We picked such an opportune time to travel...NOT! Freezing rain, followed by 2 feet of wet snow, creeping along at 40 klicks-that's kilometers for you American folk, up hill traffic came to a standstill on a mountain side outside of Helena, Montana, with both Paige and I doing the pee pee dance- Oh my lanta! 13 hours of frosty frozen fun.
2. Kurt was going to fly down the day after we went but the roads were so bad they opened and closed them off and on all day. Good thing because he ended up in the ditch. An angel showed up instantly(I am not kidding, where did this guy come from) with not one but two shovels and dug Kurt out. I told him to turn around and go home. SO he missed all the family fun and we missed him, but oh well, what ya gonna do when you live in a shoe???
3. We went down to visit my Mom. She was diagnosed with multiple cancers and given 2 months to live. This is not going to be a winter I will want to remember. But it was so good that she met all of her new great grandsons, whom she had never met with the exception of Roman. She did see him once when he was 6 months old. And my parents got to finally meet Eric, their newest grandson in law. Poor Eric was force fed ice cream and thrown into the deep end with half of the Davis clan- Sink or swim buddy!!!
4. We had a breakfast at my brothers house. 24 adults, 9 and 8.9/9th kids (Lindsay was in labor off and on throughout the day-yikes!) and 4 dogs. We had a marvelous time!! Sometimes its better to not know what you are missing... now I miss my family sooooo much!
5. We stayed with a friend of mine who I have known most of my life. Michele and her family made us so welcome- they opened their home and hearts to us and Scott made bacon at 10 pm for Paige. Paige has a new BFF!!!The snow was insane! We had to move broken tree branches to get in and out of the lane that they live on but it was absolutely breath taking! Beautiful! We all decided to move in for good.....just kidding Scott!
6. I am not going to talk about the election. Except to say once shame on him, twice shame on you!!! I do think that Mitt Romney is a good man and it would have been nice to see if he could make a difference for the country. I believe he was put there to make people accountable for their choices. It's just sad that everyone will be brought down in the process.
7. Back to work- pumped out two fun photo shop pieces this morning, sent them to New York and poooof! I love to hear "send us the files" No revisions, no tweaking. AWESOME! I called them "Flower Power"- Kind of a throw back to the 60's I suppose.
9. I am feeling like life is accelerating in some way, that things are coming to a head and there's going to be some very rocky times ahead for all of us. It makes me stop and wonder if I am prepared. I am betting that I am not as prepared as I should or could be. This next few months will be very challenging. I am thankful for my knowledge of a loving God who knows us all personally and who sees the big picture. Now more than ever we need to trust in him. That's all we may have to get us through.
10. BUT...right now I'm going to go split some heads at hockey! Too much doom and gloom is NOT good for the soul!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
10 on Tuesday! Huzzah!!!
Tis Tue-ezzz DAY! Time for 10 random yet intellectually stimulating thoughts from MUA!
1. I am sitting here at my computer and I look over yonder on my desk and perched there is a HUGE moth, with antlers- they even curl! DANG!
2. Poor little Finny Bean started pre- school today. Finster has issues- mostly huge separation anxiety issues. Stewie will babysit Oscar so that Whitney can go with Finn until he gets the hang of this. He's never been able to go to nursery or Primary by himself. This is going to be hardest on his Mom I think. Pray for Whitney and Finn!!
3. I saw a good quote today- it said "what we allow is what will continue"...think about it...Wait for it...here it comes.....get ready....AND Shazam....if we allow that nincompoop to stay in the white house, the insanity will continue!!! Period.
4. Paige and Eric are living in Calgary- just 2 1/2 hours away. AWESOME. But even better is Whitney and Brad and the 3 bears/boys are 2 1/2 BLOCKS away. Life is grand and glorious!
5. Good golly Miss Molly I am 23 years at this job and still they want more wine!!!MORE WINE! Apparently folks like this kind of stuff- who knew...well I did because I paint a kicken lot of it. But come on, can we not get out of that box already. Yeah- I need some cheese to go with my "whine." SIGH. Finished this one today. yippee skippy.
6. I have the attention span of a gnat. I don't like it, but I am not sure what to do about it. Seems like I can't focus my thoughts on any one thing for more that a half a minute, tops. Even as I am typing this very thought my eyes are inspecting the moose moth on my desk and he has really cool wings. Should I touch him? He's actually standing on his tiny moth feet. Meh- on to the next thought...
7. We went back to the lake to bring the trailer home. I water skied so many times around that lake Friday and Saturday that on Sunday I was sitting in church wondering why my head felt like someone had whacked it with a tire iron. Hmmm. And because, as I said, my attention span is shorter than a baby toe, and because the speaker sounded exactly like the Dad in "Forget Paris"...Yoooouuuuuuu aaaasked for it, yooooouuuu gooot it, Tooooooooyota" kind of slow, drawn out and nasally- I just couldn't stay with the guy, I tried but nope. SO I amused myself by counting exactly how many trips around the lake I had made......22. Yup, my neck muscles were a tad on the tired side and they were telling my head to pound away like a hyperactive kid with a new drum set. OUCH! Is there any combination more exquisitely excruciating than a dry church speaker and a wicked headache? I think not.
8. I am trying to decide if I am brave enough to ride my street bike instead of a mountain bike on the annual Logan Pass bike hike this Thursday. Can I handle the skinny tires at 40 MPR? Speed or stability?? Hmmmmmm. What say you?
9. My house is soooooo neglected. After 3 months away, it looks like Pig Pen was house sitting, with his little clouds of cartoon dust wafting here and about. Possibly the dragon sized moth lived here for awhile too.....do I dare touch....well what the heck do you know...dragon moose moth lived and DIED here. He's quite perfectly preserved! Sheeeeesh- time to clean the freaken house!
10. I dislike house cleaning ever so!
1. I am sitting here at my computer and I look over yonder on my desk and perched there is a HUGE moth, with antlers- they even curl! DANG!
2. Poor little Finny Bean started pre- school today. Finster has issues- mostly huge separation anxiety issues. Stewie will babysit Oscar so that Whitney can go with Finn until he gets the hang of this. He's never been able to go to nursery or Primary by himself. This is going to be hardest on his Mom I think. Pray for Whitney and Finn!!
3. I saw a good quote today- it said "what we allow is what will continue"...think about it...Wait for it...here it comes.....get ready....AND Shazam....if we allow that nincompoop to stay in the white house, the insanity will continue!!! Period.
4. Paige and Eric are living in Calgary- just 2 1/2 hours away. AWESOME. But even better is Whitney and Brad and the 3 bears/boys are 2 1/2 BLOCKS away. Life is grand and glorious!
5. Good golly Miss Molly I am 23 years at this job and still they want more wine!!!MORE WINE! Apparently folks like this kind of stuff- who knew...well I did because I paint a kicken lot of it. But come on, can we not get out of that box already. Yeah- I need some cheese to go with my "whine." SIGH. Finished this one today. yippee skippy.
7. We went back to the lake to bring the trailer home. I water skied so many times around that lake Friday and Saturday that on Sunday I was sitting in church wondering why my head felt like someone had whacked it with a tire iron. Hmmm. And because, as I said, my attention span is shorter than a baby toe, and because the speaker sounded exactly like the Dad in "Forget Paris"...Yoooouuuuuuu aaaasked for it, yooooouuuu gooot it, Tooooooooyota" kind of slow, drawn out and nasally- I just couldn't stay with the guy, I tried but nope. SO I amused myself by counting exactly how many trips around the lake I had made......22. Yup, my neck muscles were a tad on the tired side and they were telling my head to pound away like a hyperactive kid with a new drum set. OUCH! Is there any combination more exquisitely excruciating than a dry church speaker and a wicked headache? I think not.
8. I am trying to decide if I am brave enough to ride my street bike instead of a mountain bike on the annual Logan Pass bike hike this Thursday. Can I handle the skinny tires at 40 MPR? Speed or stability?? Hmmmmmm. What say you?
9. My house is soooooo neglected. After 3 months away, it looks like Pig Pen was house sitting, with his little clouds of cartoon dust wafting here and about. Possibly the dragon sized moth lived here for awhile too.....do I dare touch....well what the heck do you know...dragon moose moth lived and DIED here. He's quite perfectly preserved! Sheeeeesh- time to clean the freaken house!
10. I dislike house cleaning ever so!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Back at it!
Well the summer is over, the leaves are changing and I am back hard at it. What "it" is I am not quite sure...work, home, life. We will be going back to the lake to drag all of our paraphernalia home, which is a 2 trip endeavor. HATE this part! Sigh. But the boat is still there and so is my full body wet suit! whoot whoot! All is not lost!
This past week, a very good brother in my Raymond ward/congregation, who I respected and admired very much, was painting his house, and for what ever reason, he fell off the ladder and died. When I heard this awful news I first rejected it and said no that is not possible, that can't be true, maybe you heard wrong. Did you get the name right? That's not right! Then it sinks in and your stomach goes completely hollow. Kind of a buzzing fills your ears and your mind just can not wrap itself around the fact that this wonderful man is gone. You won't see him at church and laugh and talk with him about your life or work with him in a calling ever again. Now can I just preface this next comment with the stages of grief cause I have been through them a few times and unfortunately I always get to the anger one at the worst possible moment, but that's where I am tonight- in the anger phase. I did shock and denial, I did pain, but now I am in the anger, bargaining stage. Mad that such a wonderful human being is gone and mad that there are really crummy people still here- Let's make a deal, take so and so instead....OH MY GOSH DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD??? Yup, I did. But at least I am honest about it. Do I get credit for that?
But that is the hard part. Accepting that there are good and not so good folk all over this world and we don't get to choose when who goes and who stays. GOOD THING, EH! If we got to choose each others exit dates, I'd be long gone. Folks would have given up on me years ago. Hmmm- maybe that is why the good die young. They got it right and did what they were supposed to do and learned what they were supposed to learn so they get to blow this popsicle stand and go on to bigger and better things? The rest of us still have some learning and growing to do? Is it a test for us? Does it strengthen our faith? All of the above? I think that when I get mad because someone I love dies it's mostly me being mad at me. Mad that I don't take more time to know people better, and now they are gone and you blew your chances- well not entirely in this case, I did get to know this fine man, but mostly in a church setting. I should have been on more personal terms and dang it now there's no time left for that! Angry! Mad that I don't do all the things I know I should do, that he did. Mad that it seems so unfair but if we could see the big picture, we'd understand, but darn it we just have to go by faith and hope. Can't we just see a corner of the big picture? Just a peak? Maybe we do and we don't always realize it. Do we realize that big picture and see we aren't fitting into it very well? oh dear, look at me in that big big picture- I am falling off a cliff! Barely hanging on to a tree branch, or maybe I am just standing there dazed and confused, deer in the headlights. Or shooting my mouth of yet again! Do not pass go, turn around, go back and get it right, dummy! That would be mua!
Can you even imagine what this would be like for people who don't know that there is life after this??? SHOOT, WE SHOULD BE TELLING THEM!!!
But oh no that's scary. They'll think I am nuts, one of those crazy Mormons with Mitt Romney ideas! Guess what...I am mad the world won't listen. Then I get mad and say well serves them right. I warned you I was in the anger phase, didn't I gggrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Thankfully this "mad" stage always passes, quite quickly I have found ( thanks to the teachings of my Mormon faith by the way!) and then there's a bit of a reflection stage, which is also where I am tonight- thus the incoherent ramblings you see before you.
I am reflecting on life, death, good, bad, heaven, and earth and all that goes on behind the scenes in all those places that we haven't the slightest inkling of. We don't know what goes on in other peoples lives. That's why you try really hard not to judge- it's hard but I am slowly making progress there. I slip up...lot's... but I am at least more aware of it now, aware that it's harmful and unproductive. We don't know what makes a person "good" or "bad" so we don't get to bargain and say take that guy and leave us Mark. Seriously, God would that be so bad? Did you need him that badly? Apparently, yes he does. You got a good one, God. I know I am not supposed to judge, but yep, I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that Mark's a good one!
We then have to get to the working through stages which unfortunately for his family will take a long time. For the rest of us, we get over it a bit sooner. We aren't faced with it day in and day out. That's the heartbreaking thing tonight though. You know, empathy is really a bummer sometimes!
But thankfully, though be it at different times, we will all come to the acceptance and hope stage of grief, the last stage, because that is what we do as people of faith. We accept and hope to be reunited after this life.
Guess what world. I know I will see my friends and family again. They are with their friends and family who died before them. I know that because I have had a personal witness that this is the way it is! Because Our Savior Jesus Christ died for us so that we could be resurrected and live again. You can take that to the bank...or not- your choice, but you can't say I didn't tell you, cause I just did!!!
Rest in peace Mark (Allyskin) Ellingson. Pfff... that guys not resting, believe me- he's working and working hard! You go Mark!!!
This past week, a very good brother in my Raymond ward/congregation, who I respected and admired very much, was painting his house, and for what ever reason, he fell off the ladder and died. When I heard this awful news I first rejected it and said no that is not possible, that can't be true, maybe you heard wrong. Did you get the name right? That's not right! Then it sinks in and your stomach goes completely hollow. Kind of a buzzing fills your ears and your mind just can not wrap itself around the fact that this wonderful man is gone. You won't see him at church and laugh and talk with him about your life or work with him in a calling ever again. Now can I just preface this next comment with the stages of grief cause I have been through them a few times and unfortunately I always get to the anger one at the worst possible moment, but that's where I am tonight- in the anger phase. I did shock and denial, I did pain, but now I am in the anger, bargaining stage. Mad that such a wonderful human being is gone and mad that there are really crummy people still here- Let's make a deal, take so and so instead....OH MY GOSH DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD??? Yup, I did. But at least I am honest about it. Do I get credit for that?
But that is the hard part. Accepting that there are good and not so good folk all over this world and we don't get to choose when who goes and who stays. GOOD THING, EH! If we got to choose each others exit dates, I'd be long gone. Folks would have given up on me years ago. Hmmm- maybe that is why the good die young. They got it right and did what they were supposed to do and learned what they were supposed to learn so they get to blow this popsicle stand and go on to bigger and better things? The rest of us still have some learning and growing to do? Is it a test for us? Does it strengthen our faith? All of the above? I think that when I get mad because someone I love dies it's mostly me being mad at me. Mad that I don't take more time to know people better, and now they are gone and you blew your chances- well not entirely in this case, I did get to know this fine man, but mostly in a church setting. I should have been on more personal terms and dang it now there's no time left for that! Angry! Mad that I don't do all the things I know I should do, that he did. Mad that it seems so unfair but if we could see the big picture, we'd understand, but darn it we just have to go by faith and hope. Can't we just see a corner of the big picture? Just a peak? Maybe we do and we don't always realize it. Do we realize that big picture and see we aren't fitting into it very well? oh dear, look at me in that big big picture- I am falling off a cliff! Barely hanging on to a tree branch, or maybe I am just standing there dazed and confused, deer in the headlights. Or shooting my mouth of yet again! Do not pass go, turn around, go back and get it right, dummy! That would be mua!
Can you even imagine what this would be like for people who don't know that there is life after this??? SHOOT, WE SHOULD BE TELLING THEM!!!
Thankfully this "mad" stage always passes, quite quickly I have found ( thanks to the teachings of my Mormon faith by the way!) and then there's a bit of a reflection stage, which is also where I am tonight- thus the incoherent ramblings you see before you.
I am reflecting on life, death, good, bad, heaven, and earth and all that goes on behind the scenes in all those places that we haven't the slightest inkling of. We don't know what goes on in other peoples lives. That's why you try really hard not to judge- it's hard but I am slowly making progress there. I slip up...lot's... but I am at least more aware of it now, aware that it's harmful and unproductive. We don't know what makes a person "good" or "bad" so we don't get to bargain and say take that guy and leave us Mark. Seriously, God would that be so bad? Did you need him that badly? Apparently, yes he does. You got a good one, God. I know I am not supposed to judge, but yep, I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that Mark's a good one!
We then have to get to the working through stages which unfortunately for his family will take a long time. For the rest of us, we get over it a bit sooner. We aren't faced with it day in and day out. That's the heartbreaking thing tonight though. You know, empathy is really a bummer sometimes!
But thankfully, though be it at different times, we will all come to the acceptance and hope stage of grief, the last stage, because that is what we do as people of faith. We accept and hope to be reunited after this life.
Guess what world. I know I will see my friends and family again. They are with their friends and family who died before them. I know that because I have had a personal witness that this is the way it is! Because Our Savior Jesus Christ died for us so that we could be resurrected and live again. You can take that to the bank...or not- your choice, but you can't say I didn't tell you, cause I just did!!!
Rest in peace Mark (Allyskin) Ellingson. Pfff... that guys not resting, believe me- he's working and working hard! You go Mark!!!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
10 on Tuesday
I am going to combine a 10 on Tuesday list with a "what I did on my summer vacation/what I love about summer" list. Are you "having pins and needles you are sitting on"??? (love Despicable Me..Gru is my kind of guy!) Onward and upward.
1. The summer started out a bit rough with rain at the lake and one broken hand bone due to Stewart's inept throwing of the ski rope and my hand deciding all on it's own to fist slap said ski rope.
2. I climbed the second highest mountain in Waterton, Lineham peak, standing at a whopping 8950 feet and we didn't even mean to climb it. There was so much snow on the regular trail that we climbed up a totally different way and couldn't get down so we had to keep going up! It was amazing though and now I can say I did it!! Here is a picture of Lineham from the correct trail.
And here we are not quite to the top. Yup that's me with my broken hand. It wasn't much help! And behind me is faithful Cheri- she was afraid I would fall and not be able to catch myself- she worried about me all day- such a good friend!!
3. I started training for the triathlon a bit late because I couldn't swim or bike but things are back on schedule and the triathlon is on August 13th. The swimming and biking are very easy for me but the running seems to be the killer. Not sure why that is. I used to run for 2-3 hours every day playing soccer at BYU. My my how time flies and my my how fat and old and tired and out of shape you get!
4. We have had a bear infestation at the lake. For some reason known only to him, Stewart has taken on the roll of bear chaser. I do not like this! He picks up his weapon of choice (a children's sling shot... which in all fairness he is quite proficient with because much to my amazement, a few years ago, he killed a snake with it) he calls our willing boxer, Mattie to come with him and he runs after these bears. What happens when the bear stands it's ground or turns on you, Stewie??? I will be picking up Stew parts in the forest, that's what!!
5. 3 more sleeps and Paige and Eric will be living in ALBERTA!! Huzzah!
6. I broke my hand on the 21st of June. I was supposed to keep my cast on 6 weeks which would be this Thursday, August 2nd. I took it off July 9th and skied. It hurt getting up but once I was up, it stopped hurting. I took this as a good sign and never looked back. I actually think that skiing and swimming has helped to heal the broken hand and make it stronger faster...that's my story and I am sticking to it.
7. We had Brad, Whitney and the boys at the lake for a week and it was a blast. Little boys love camping and fires and lakes and forts and water fights and treats but not rain or bears or going to bed.
8. We took the boys to the Trail of the Cedars in Glacier. Oscar was very careful not to step on the cracks in the boardwalk...it took a long time! We had so much fun we hiked the trail twice. On the first go round the boys ran- on the second go round the boys walked and actually looked at a few things... Finn was gocking up at the tall trees and walked right off the trail and splatted about 3 feet down. He was pretty brave though. Tears for only a few seconds.
9. What I love about summer...fresh fruit and vegetables, water skiing, getting in shape, (well better shape that in winter) a quiet, glassy lake in the early morning, time away from work, hiking, long days and nights, I used to love summer thunderstorms but Mattie is so neurotic that she has ruined them for me, ( we even tried a Thunder Jacket- it doesn't work!) I love Canada day, being close to Waterton and Glacier, green grass and lot's of flowers, raw peas from the garden, cool nights after a hot day. Oh and of course watching the Olympics!!! Go USA! Summer rocks!
10. Hmmmm- not much else going on except lazing around at the lake- that's about it for this Tuesday! Hiking Grinnell Glacier this Thursday...can't wait!
1. The summer started out a bit rough with rain at the lake and one broken hand bone due to Stewart's inept throwing of the ski rope and my hand deciding all on it's own to fist slap said ski rope.
2. I climbed the second highest mountain in Waterton, Lineham peak, standing at a whopping 8950 feet and we didn't even mean to climb it. There was so much snow on the regular trail that we climbed up a totally different way and couldn't get down so we had to keep going up! It was amazing though and now I can say I did it!! Here is a picture of Lineham from the correct trail.
And here we are not quite to the top. Yup that's me with my broken hand. It wasn't much help! And behind me is faithful Cheri- she was afraid I would fall and not be able to catch myself- she worried about me all day- such a good friend!!
3. I started training for the triathlon a bit late because I couldn't swim or bike but things are back on schedule and the triathlon is on August 13th. The swimming and biking are very easy for me but the running seems to be the killer. Not sure why that is. I used to run for 2-3 hours every day playing soccer at BYU. My my how time flies and my my how fat and old and tired and out of shape you get!
4. We have had a bear infestation at the lake. For some reason known only to him, Stewart has taken on the roll of bear chaser. I do not like this! He picks up his weapon of choice (a children's sling shot... which in all fairness he is quite proficient with because much to my amazement, a few years ago, he killed a snake with it) he calls our willing boxer, Mattie to come with him and he runs after these bears. What happens when the bear stands it's ground or turns on you, Stewie??? I will be picking up Stew parts in the forest, that's what!!
5. 3 more sleeps and Paige and Eric will be living in ALBERTA!! Huzzah!
6. I broke my hand on the 21st of June. I was supposed to keep my cast on 6 weeks which would be this Thursday, August 2nd. I took it off July 9th and skied. It hurt getting up but once I was up, it stopped hurting. I took this as a good sign and never looked back. I actually think that skiing and swimming has helped to heal the broken hand and make it stronger faster...that's my story and I am sticking to it.
7. We had Brad, Whitney and the boys at the lake for a week and it was a blast. Little boys love camping and fires and lakes and forts and water fights and treats but not rain or bears or going to bed.
8. We took the boys to the Trail of the Cedars in Glacier. Oscar was very careful not to step on the cracks in the boardwalk...it took a long time! We had so much fun we hiked the trail twice. On the first go round the boys ran- on the second go round the boys walked and actually looked at a few things... Finn was gocking up at the tall trees and walked right off the trail and splatted about 3 feet down. He was pretty brave though. Tears for only a few seconds.
9. What I love about summer...fresh fruit and vegetables, water skiing, getting in shape, (well better shape that in winter) a quiet, glassy lake in the early morning, time away from work, hiking, long days and nights, I used to love summer thunderstorms but Mattie is so neurotic that she has ruined them for me, ( we even tried a Thunder Jacket- it doesn't work!) I love Canada day, being close to Waterton and Glacier, green grass and lot's of flowers, raw peas from the garden, cool nights after a hot day. Oh and of course watching the Olympics!!! Go USA! Summer rocks!
10. Hmmmm- not much else going on except lazing around at the lake- that's about it for this Tuesday! Hiking Grinnell Glacier this Thursday...can't wait!
Friday, June 29, 2012
How to destroy a summer in one second
I am not a happy camper...quite literally and in ever sense of those words!!! To begin with, I think you can all be extremely happy with the fact that I DIDN'T CUSS!! That might be a first for me.
I'll set the stage.
It is June 21, 7pm at Lake Five and I am the only living person tough enough to brave the water. It has been raining for 5 days but tonight it is warm with that wonderful heavy air that keep the glassy lake as still as death. I have already skied around the lake twice and have swam 4 laps. The lake is just so calm that I think- hey, I could ski again! I don my gloves and life jacket, and grab my ski. Stewart has backed the boat up and is swinging the rope around and around, just as he's done a million and 3 times before, preparing to let it go so it can fly to either side of me- almost always within arms reach- yeah, he's that good. I usually don't even bother to watch because he can throw that rope to the side of me with amazing accuracy- like I said we've done this dance for years and years. For some reason I stood up straight and watched him this time... first mistake. So there he is- a sort of cowboy rodeo slash water skiing rope twirler of the first order whipping that rope into an eye blurring frenzy- he let's it go and before I can even react, the thing is headed straight at my head. In my own defense, you have to realize it takes the rope exactly .00578 seconds to crack my skull open- I realize this too, so also in that split second of time I say to myself holy shizolah, that thing is coming right at me, well, that stinks, so what am I going to do about it. I could duck but actually I don't think I have time for that. No, there must be a better option. I do need the rope to be in my hands at some point, may as well kill (no pun intended) two birds with one stone and save a millionth of a second. It takes more time and energy to bend over and pick up the rope so yeah, that's the solution, I'll just catch the rope that is coming at me with the speed and force of super sonic jet. So I fling my hands up...second mistake... and BAM! Ouch and no I didn't cuss- honest! Oh ouch ouchie ouch!!! By the way, and be impressed- I did catch the rope- but I didn't hold on to it long. I could feel huge pain in my left little finger- the same one I broke catching a very short low bad basketball pass. (stupid girl) I look at it and it's not sticking out at a weird angle like the last time- I don't need to pop it back into place like the last time. So because I have vasts amounts of knowledge and medical expertise and those are definitely the medical criteria for determining a broken bone, I thinks pfff- well that's good, it's not broken- I've got my stuff on so I'm ski-en! It's a bit painful trying to put the ski on but I manage. I hold the rope in my right hand and for a fleeting instant wonder if I could get up one handed... don't let's be silly! So I firmly grasp the ski handle in both hands- ouch ouchie ouch shoot ouch. I definitely felt something pop in my hand- right under my little finger. So like the practical careful person I am, I let up on two fingers and yell hit it. More ouchy shoot ouchness but I am up and I am skiing. Not my best efforts to cut some rooster tail! This thing is hurting. I only go around once, darn it. Back at the trailer I gingerly get dressed, and sit down to put ice on this bad boy. After a half hour of that I look at it and feel around a bit. I do not want it to be broken, so in my mind it's not. Kurt and Stewart think differently- so off to the ER we go- at 9 pm. Short story long, I show it to the Doc, he takes a few ex-rays and sure enough I have a boxers fracture. Stangely the doctor walks back in the room and says "I can't believe it, you really did break it." Hmm really?- that's why I'm here?? Shucks, I just thought we'd spend quality some time together talking about the crappy weather! No shizzzz Sherlock! 5th metacarpal bone broken horizontally under the knuckle. He want's to know if I want something for pain. nope. Just tell me how long before I can ski again. Six weeks.......SIX WEEKS!!!??? seriously?? I didn't swear- I did say an F word- but fart is much better than that other word which actually I have only uttered twice in my life and really I don't know where it came from in those instances because I HATE that word! So fart it was. And fart it remains. That Dr. made the mistake of not casing this broken hand. He half cast it and wrapped it with a tensor bandage with velcro. hehehe- pfff.... VELCRO! As if I can't escape from velcro! I am giving it 3 weeks- 19 days to be exact. Then I shall be skiing again. Stewart is trying to conjure up and manufacture some kind of harness for one handed skiers that he saw on the internet. Yeah, like I want that thing hurtling at me! Nope- I'll just ski like an Englishman drinking tea..pinkies up and very proper and dainty like............NOT!
So yes- Camping this summer will see me with one eyebrow and Stewart will be doing the dishes! Serves him right!
Here is a picture of the offending hand. This is at the 1 week mark and counting. The back of my hand is just yellow- so not as impressive. I also have a rope handle shaped bruise on my arm. Stewie may be doing dishes for a long time!
I'll set the stage.
It is June 21, 7pm at Lake Five and I am the only living person tough enough to brave the water. It has been raining for 5 days but tonight it is warm with that wonderful heavy air that keep the glassy lake as still as death. I have already skied around the lake twice and have swam 4 laps. The lake is just so calm that I think- hey, I could ski again! I don my gloves and life jacket, and grab my ski. Stewart has backed the boat up and is swinging the rope around and around, just as he's done a million and 3 times before, preparing to let it go so it can fly to either side of me- almost always within arms reach- yeah, he's that good. I usually don't even bother to watch because he can throw that rope to the side of me with amazing accuracy- like I said we've done this dance for years and years. For some reason I stood up straight and watched him this time... first mistake. So there he is- a sort of cowboy rodeo slash water skiing rope twirler of the first order whipping that rope into an eye blurring frenzy- he let's it go and before I can even react, the thing is headed straight at my head. In my own defense, you have to realize it takes the rope exactly .00578 seconds to crack my skull open- I realize this too, so also in that split second of time I say to myself holy shizolah, that thing is coming right at me, well, that stinks, so what am I going to do about it. I could duck but actually I don't think I have time for that. No, there must be a better option. I do need the rope to be in my hands at some point, may as well kill (no pun intended) two birds with one stone and save a millionth of a second. It takes more time and energy to bend over and pick up the rope so yeah, that's the solution, I'll just catch the rope that is coming at me with the speed and force of super sonic jet. So I fling my hands up...second mistake... and BAM! Ouch and no I didn't cuss- honest! Oh ouch ouchie ouch!!! By the way, and be impressed- I did catch the rope- but I didn't hold on to it long. I could feel huge pain in my left little finger- the same one I broke catching a very short low bad basketball pass. (stupid girl) I look at it and it's not sticking out at a weird angle like the last time- I don't need to pop it back into place like the last time. So because I have vasts amounts of knowledge and medical expertise and those are definitely the medical criteria for determining a broken bone, I thinks pfff- well that's good, it's not broken- I've got my stuff on so I'm ski-en! It's a bit painful trying to put the ski on but I manage. I hold the rope in my right hand and for a fleeting instant wonder if I could get up one handed... don't let's be silly! So I firmly grasp the ski handle in both hands- ouch ouchie ouch shoot ouch. I definitely felt something pop in my hand- right under my little finger. So like the practical careful person I am, I let up on two fingers and yell hit it. More ouchy shoot ouchness but I am up and I am skiing. Not my best efforts to cut some rooster tail! This thing is hurting. I only go around once, darn it. Back at the trailer I gingerly get dressed, and sit down to put ice on this bad boy. After a half hour of that I look at it and feel around a bit. I do not want it to be broken, so in my mind it's not. Kurt and Stewart think differently- so off to the ER we go- at 9 pm. Short story long, I show it to the Doc, he takes a few ex-rays and sure enough I have a boxers fracture. Stangely the doctor walks back in the room and says "I can't believe it, you really did break it." Hmm really?- that's why I'm here?? Shucks, I just thought we'd spend quality some time together talking about the crappy weather! No shizzzz Sherlock! 5th metacarpal bone broken horizontally under the knuckle. He want's to know if I want something for pain. nope. Just tell me how long before I can ski again. Six weeks.......SIX WEEKS!!!??? seriously?? I didn't swear- I did say an F word- but fart is much better than that other word which actually I have only uttered twice in my life and really I don't know where it came from in those instances because I HATE that word! So fart it was. And fart it remains. That Dr. made the mistake of not casing this broken hand. He half cast it and wrapped it with a tensor bandage with velcro. hehehe- pfff.... VELCRO! As if I can't escape from velcro! I am giving it 3 weeks- 19 days to be exact. Then I shall be skiing again. Stewart is trying to conjure up and manufacture some kind of harness for one handed skiers that he saw on the internet. Yeah, like I want that thing hurtling at me! Nope- I'll just ski like an Englishman drinking tea..pinkies up and very proper and dainty like............NOT!
So yes- Camping this summer will see me with one eyebrow and Stewart will be doing the dishes! Serves him right!
Here is a picture of the offending hand. This is at the 1 week mark and counting. The back of my hand is just yellow- so not as impressive. I also have a rope handle shaped bruise on my arm. Stewie may be doing dishes for a long time!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
There is actually a name for this?? Go figure!!
Disclaimer- Some parts of this post may be gross- stop here if you don't like gross. I am not kidding.
AND I AM NOT ALONE? Oh my good gosh Miss Molly- I am stunned. Vindicated, amused and horrified- all in the same breath. After years of being perplexed and aggravated, ashamed and weird, the light has been turned on and I am no longer alone in the darkness. I am-are you ready for it-drum roll- an Emetophobe. I have Emetophobia. There I said it- I am out of the closet- or bathroom as may be more apropos. For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about, here is wonderful wikki's definition of my malady. Pay special attention to the last sentence-
Emetophobia (from the Greek εμετός, to vomit, and φόβος (phóbos), meaning "fear") is an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting. This specific phobia can also include subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching the action of vomiting or fear of being nauseated.[1] Emetophobia is clinically considered an “elusive predicament” because limited research has been done pertaining to it.[2] It is considered to be one of the most common phobias in the world.[3]
For clarification, I think I fall into a sub category. Fear of watching and or hearing the act of said chunk blowing. I don't particularly love being sick myself but I don't freak out about it. I wouldn't want to throw up in front of people either- I have done that once, when I was pregnant- couldn't be helped- but it was Stewart and nothing seems to bother him. He was raised on a farm- nuf said.
One of the most common phobias in the WORLD! Well isn't that special. I was reading a fellow Emetophobes blog today (quite by accident) and something he said pricked my interest- He said when ever his kids say "I have a stomach ache", he goes into fits of anxiety. I mused to myself, "hhmmm, that sounds vaguely familiar."
I have always wondered why I get like this- why the flying part of flying doesn't scare me or really bother me- in fact I think blowing up in an airplane wouldn't be a bad way to go- but being in that confined tube with people who may or may not puke is more than I can handle and I have to take drugs-lot's of them- so that I am so hopped up on Adivan that I could care less what anyone does on the plane. Why when someone says I feel sick do I get a buzzing in my ears and feel the need to run. Why when my poor niece got sick in the back seat of a car did I scream for my sister in law to STOP THE CAR and frantically jump out of the front seat and walk briskly down Mayor Magrath drive to parts unknown. Like Wikki said- irrational!
I am remembering back to my wedding shower, when my pregnant sister in law got sick and had to throw up in the gutter beside the car while all the ladies at the shower stood watching her. I couldn't believe that they all stood there so calmly nodding their heads and smiling like this was the most natural thing in the world. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I thought if this is what being married and pregnant means, that you hunker down in a gutter, hurling your tiny shower sandwiches, cookies and pink punch up for all the world to see, I want no part of it. I almost called the wedding off right then and there- Riding home in the car with that poisoned woman, who could at any moment, unleash this monster all down my back, was shear agony. I turned my head to the window and tried desperately not to cry or hyperventilate.
I almost NEVER visit sick friends or relatives in the hospital. You can guess why- there are sick people in there. Only when I absolutely have to visit- and even then I come and go, in and out of the room and watch them and the other patients like a hawk for any signs of stomach unrest, the entire time I am 2 shades away from a full blown panic attack. I have been in the elevator with patients on gurneys who look pale and sickly, and I have almost had to tell them to move over, because I am having a heart attack. When I was in the recovery room after having one of my kids- a lady in there was sick- I got up yanking the IV tubes along with me and walked out of there- nurses trailing behind me yelling at me to get back in bed. Not happening! I attended the birth of my first grandchild- I did fine until Whitney said she was nauseated. FREAK! Kudos to Whit for holding it in! Whitney should know how much I love her because I stayed there, all the time wanting to run screaming from that room. It was one of the hardest thing I have ever done. I am proud of myself for doing it, but not ever going to do it again. EVER.
What did you do when your kids got sick? You are all wondering that, I know (along with who blogs about this kind of thing? My blog, my rules... I did warn you!) Well God protects crazies in all kinds of wonderful ways. For some reason, I was able to deal with them. I am chalking that up to God, because no other person place or thing has been able to fix this phobia. With my kids, maybe it's because they started out just spitting up, they started out as little tiny hurlers. As they grew into large man sized, bring it from their toenails, the sounds reverberating off the bathroom walls pukers- well they know me and they try very hard to be discreet, quite, and they try not to announce that they are sick. The strange thing is they were really good, at a very early age, at hitting the john or the supplied ice-cream bucket. And if they didn't it was Stewart's problem. One of the many reasons I love that man! Oh by the by- Stewart almost never throws up- and somehow, if he does, he is pretty darn quite about it.
I hesitate to share this with the blogging world, because there are some who may use this against me- tell me they feel like they are going to be sick just to watch the freak out show- ( if any of you DO try that, trust me, I will hurt you- I will find out what makes you crazy and I will use it to make your life a living hell) But man it's kind of good to know you're not alone in your "elusive predicament."
This particular phobia raises it's ugly head in all types of circumstances. Couple it with claustrophobia and yes, Erma Jean, you've got a walking talking freak show on your hands. That would be me! I am wondering if there is a cure for this, but then I think- I've heard about people who are terrified of spiders or snakes being exposed to hundreds of spiders or snakes to "cure" them... I just can't see myself sitting in a room full if helpful but sick folk, all throwing up to cure me of MY ills. The thought of that is so utterly appalling and insane, I can not even go there in my mind. Nope, probably just going to have to live with it, like so many phobia ridden people do. My biggest fear is that someone I need to take care of, a child or a husband, a mother or father will get cancer and kimo therapy. I will be utterly useless. My hope is that if that happens, God will intervene somehow, like he did with my 3 kids. I know that would be the only way I could be of any help to a sick person.
So there you have it, my fine peeps- the real and truly strange me. I am apparently joined by many in the world in my fear. We are a strange lot, human beings, are we not? If you are ever in my presence and you feel sick, please keep it to yourself- in every way!!!
AND I AM NOT ALONE? Oh my good gosh Miss Molly- I am stunned. Vindicated, amused and horrified- all in the same breath. After years of being perplexed and aggravated, ashamed and weird, the light has been turned on and I am no longer alone in the darkness. I am-are you ready for it-drum roll- an Emetophobe. I have Emetophobia. There I said it- I am out of the closet- or bathroom as may be more apropos. For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about, here is wonderful wikki's definition of my malady. Pay special attention to the last sentence-
Emetophobia (from the Greek εμετός, to vomit, and φόβος (phóbos), meaning "fear") is an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting. This specific phobia can also include subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching the action of vomiting or fear of being nauseated.[1] Emetophobia is clinically considered an “elusive predicament” because limited research has been done pertaining to it.[2] It is considered to be one of the most common phobias in the world.[3]
For clarification, I think I fall into a sub category. Fear of watching and or hearing the act of said chunk blowing. I don't particularly love being sick myself but I don't freak out about it. I wouldn't want to throw up in front of people either- I have done that once, when I was pregnant- couldn't be helped- but it was Stewart and nothing seems to bother him. He was raised on a farm- nuf said.
One of the most common phobias in the WORLD! Well isn't that special. I was reading a fellow Emetophobes blog today (quite by accident) and something he said pricked my interest- He said when ever his kids say "I have a stomach ache", he goes into fits of anxiety. I mused to myself, "hhmmm, that sounds vaguely familiar."
I have always wondered why I get like this- why the flying part of flying doesn't scare me or really bother me- in fact I think blowing up in an airplane wouldn't be a bad way to go- but being in that confined tube with people who may or may not puke is more than I can handle and I have to take drugs-lot's of them- so that I am so hopped up on Adivan that I could care less what anyone does on the plane. Why when someone says I feel sick do I get a buzzing in my ears and feel the need to run. Why when my poor niece got sick in the back seat of a car did I scream for my sister in law to STOP THE CAR and frantically jump out of the front seat and walk briskly down Mayor Magrath drive to parts unknown. Like Wikki said- irrational!
I am remembering back to my wedding shower, when my pregnant sister in law got sick and had to throw up in the gutter beside the car while all the ladies at the shower stood watching her. I couldn't believe that they all stood there so calmly nodding their heads and smiling like this was the most natural thing in the world. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I thought if this is what being married and pregnant means, that you hunker down in a gutter, hurling your tiny shower sandwiches, cookies and pink punch up for all the world to see, I want no part of it. I almost called the wedding off right then and there- Riding home in the car with that poisoned woman, who could at any moment, unleash this monster all down my back, was shear agony. I turned my head to the window and tried desperately not to cry or hyperventilate.
I almost NEVER visit sick friends or relatives in the hospital. You can guess why- there are sick people in there. Only when I absolutely have to visit- and even then I come and go, in and out of the room and watch them and the other patients like a hawk for any signs of stomach unrest, the entire time I am 2 shades away from a full blown panic attack. I have been in the elevator with patients on gurneys who look pale and sickly, and I have almost had to tell them to move over, because I am having a heart attack. When I was in the recovery room after having one of my kids- a lady in there was sick- I got up yanking the IV tubes along with me and walked out of there- nurses trailing behind me yelling at me to get back in bed. Not happening! I attended the birth of my first grandchild- I did fine until Whitney said she was nauseated. FREAK! Kudos to Whit for holding it in! Whitney should know how much I love her because I stayed there, all the time wanting to run screaming from that room. It was one of the hardest thing I have ever done. I am proud of myself for doing it, but not ever going to do it again. EVER.
What did you do when your kids got sick? You are all wondering that, I know (along with who blogs about this kind of thing? My blog, my rules... I did warn you!) Well God protects crazies in all kinds of wonderful ways. For some reason, I was able to deal with them. I am chalking that up to God, because no other person place or thing has been able to fix this phobia. With my kids, maybe it's because they started out just spitting up, they started out as little tiny hurlers. As they grew into large man sized, bring it from their toenails, the sounds reverberating off the bathroom walls pukers- well they know me and they try very hard to be discreet, quite, and they try not to announce that they are sick. The strange thing is they were really good, at a very early age, at hitting the john or the supplied ice-cream bucket. And if they didn't it was Stewart's problem. One of the many reasons I love that man! Oh by the by- Stewart almost never throws up- and somehow, if he does, he is pretty darn quite about it.
I hesitate to share this with the blogging world, because there are some who may use this against me- tell me they feel like they are going to be sick just to watch the freak out show- ( if any of you DO try that, trust me, I will hurt you- I will find out what makes you crazy and I will use it to make your life a living hell) But man it's kind of good to know you're not alone in your "elusive predicament."
This particular phobia raises it's ugly head in all types of circumstances. Couple it with claustrophobia and yes, Erma Jean, you've got a walking talking freak show on your hands. That would be me! I am wondering if there is a cure for this, but then I think- I've heard about people who are terrified of spiders or snakes being exposed to hundreds of spiders or snakes to "cure" them... I just can't see myself sitting in a room full if helpful but sick folk, all throwing up to cure me of MY ills. The thought of that is so utterly appalling and insane, I can not even go there in my mind. Nope, probably just going to have to live with it, like so many phobia ridden people do. My biggest fear is that someone I need to take care of, a child or a husband, a mother or father will get cancer and kimo therapy. I will be utterly useless. My hope is that if that happens, God will intervene somehow, like he did with my 3 kids. I know that would be the only way I could be of any help to a sick person.
So there you have it, my fine peeps- the real and truly strange me. I am apparently joined by many in the world in my fear. We are a strange lot, human beings, are we not? If you are ever in my presence and you feel sick, please keep it to yourself- in every way!!!
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