10 on Tuesday

so how long do we do 10 on Tuesday? I see my daughter stopped after 1 or 2. PFFF. We shall see how long I last. You may be wondering about this posts Illustration- I tried to encompass as many random thoughts in one picture as I could.- Read on, McDuff, and see how I did.

1. Went to nun practice last week. It was really fun. The sound we make is AEWSOME!! The notes of music are pretty easy but the Latin ties your tongue in knots. I am not sure how I am going to memorize it. I tried to make words out of the syllables but it's still just gibberish. I figure if I just throw vowels out there- I should hit on the right ones once in awhile. I tried translating it but I couldn't find a place on line that did that. sigh.

2. Kurt is doing better with the shingles but Bells Palsy boy doesn't seem to be much better. Dang- I hope this clears up- nobody wants half their face sliding off their bones.

3. K- love the warm temps but not loving this wind. Oh boo hoo- you live in Southern Alberta- get over it already, says I to myself. ( yeah- I talk to myself, it's the first sign of senility- I've pretty much been senile all my life. I bet everyone talks to themselves, they just don't admit it, right self? You betcha) I do love watching my grand kids play- they get so engrossed in what they are doing -they have no shame talking to themselves and taking the parts of numerous people. Thus I am in constant conversation with self...so sue me.

4. Got a call from my art director yesterday. She was actually at the Las Vegas art show, I could hear the hubbub behind her on the phone. She said Pier 1 wanted 2 images for an exclusive-(that means nobody else can buy them) and my publisher didn't want to give them exclusivity so she said can you whip up 2 more like these and get them to us by tonight? Sure, no problem. kkkkkkuskskch- Did I mention I LOVE photo shop!!!!!

5. After I sent the new images, she emailed me back and they liked them, so now can you do a series of another image for another customer? hmmm I can see this could get to be a problem. Gives new meaning to ART ON DEMAND.

6. Bless me for I have sinned- I humbly admit that I have a new indulgent obsession and it's pretty bad. I am totally enamored with The Big Bang Theory. I belly laugh through the entire show and I can't stop watching it. It's like a hilarious train wreck. I know I shouldn't watch it but I just can't help it. Do they have Big Bang Theory anonymous meetings somewhere? I wish I could be like Sheldon Cooper and say what everyone else is thinking-oh wait- I already do that- Maybe I should be less like him...AAAAAGHHH!

7. This is funny- My art directer suggested I teach Stewart to paint. She was serious- There is a fellow artist with my publisher who taught her husband to paint abstracts and now he makes more money than she does. BUT he probably had some artistic tendencies BWAHAHAHAH!!! tears running down my face!! I just told her thanks, but not a good idea. Ooooo WHooooo I am still chuckling!

8. OH. MY. GOOD. GIDDY. AUNT!! I was raised on Postum- a hot beverage made from roasted grains- Loved it. Drink it all winter. 3 or 4 years ago, The good folks at Postum decided they weren't going to make postum any more-AHHG! - so I bought about 8 bottle of it and I have is stashed away. I looked on line to see if there were places that still might have some and, hold on to your tooche, because they were selling it on e bay for ....WAIT FOR IT...$100.00 a bottle. What the ????? I have $700.00 worth of liquid gold in my basemen?! SERIOUSLY?

9. I am now thinking I could hit a pretty nice all inclusive to Mexico for the price of my dear postum. hhhmmmm what to do, what to do. I feel like a commodities trader... SELL SELL SELL!!!

10. On a lighter note- GO MITT!!!!!

10 on Tuesday...AGAIN??

Dang, Tuesdays come fast!! here is another 10 randsom thoughts for a Tuesday afternoon.

1.Today I am a little down in the dumps and in a work funk- NOT good! Could it be because on Sunday I drug Kurt kicking and screaming to the hospital because I KNEW he had shingles, NOT spider bites! As if there are unfrozen spiders in this country right now--pfff! He told the Dr. that I made him come and that he didn't think it was shingles. Regan(Son of Dr Clayne, Whitney's brother in law and Rhonda's husband and my new favorite Dr.) took one look at it, laughed and said to Kurt, "well what do YOU think it is?" HAHAHAH! yup I was right and I won the bet. Mothers are smart that way.

2. Also on Sunday Stewart had a horrible stiff neck. I didn't think much of it until he came home from a border run and was talking to me. Half of his face wasn't moving- very strange. I told him to get his hind quarters up to the Dr. (I have to admit I was thinking stroke and I even made him do the tongue exercises) He called me from the Dr.s office with a diagnosis of Bell's Palsy. I wasn't right on the stroke thing but I did pick up that something was wrong so I am 2 for 2!!! Wives are smart that way. I find it very strange that Shingles and Bells Palsy are both caused by the herpes virus. Both of these walking wounded are on the same exact medication. (I am nervous to see what ailment I'll come down with) and wondering how they could be related even though the Dr's say they aren't.

3. So ya, I am in a funk today- Worried about my boys- There isn't bupkis I can do about either situation but that doesn't stop me from wanting to kick something. I can't seem to get into creating. I just finished 2 months of work for the big Las Vegas show and I am simply out of ideas. After 22 years of this- I think I hit the wall. Not to worry- eventually I just find my way around the wall, but after 2 days of coming up short in the artistic department, I am a tad viclempt. Well that word just came up on my spell checker and the only solution was receptacle. You know- that just about describes my feelings today. Empty receptacle. BWAHAAH- just tried another spelling- This time I got clavicle. Collarbone? Well that's a bone...so that's kind of the same as boneheads...see random thought #4.


4. I am officially going to quit looking at the facebook pages of Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney. My head officially exploded. The gullible stupidity of the electorate astounds me. Can I just say (my blog my rules) that America better get this one right this time because if we have to have 4 more years of Barack Obama, there will not be a "WE" and "WE" will be a bankrupt, socialistic freaking mess! Might I just add that if the GOP candidate can't bring in the independent vote- The GOP is toast. SO you might not want to put all your eggs in the guys basket who can get some cheers from the choir- if you get my drift. America, you are too easily swayed. Think this one through, K! sheeeeeesh!

5. On a happier NOTE (Pun Intended)- I am beginning to learn my Latin music for Sound of Music. Problem is I know when I get to practice it's all going to be useless gibberish and I will have to re- learn it but what ya gonna do?

6.HMMM our water heater busted and got water all over the basement. No hot water for 2 days and Bells Palsy boy is down there in all his pain and glory trying to fix it. Aint life grand.

7. wow- this is kind of a downer day- well shoot- some days are just like that. On top of this glorious weekend, I attended not 1 but 2 funerals. I am on such a roll, I amaze myself!

8. ok kid- get a grip and say something pithy and positive. I get to play hockey tonight. Highlight of the week, says I! After the last few days, folks better watch out because I may take my frustrations out on one and all tonight!

9. I think I deserve pancakes for dinner- but they aren't nearly as good without Whitney's coconut syrup- so maybe butternut squash and pear soup. yum. After no hot water, that might be the ticket.

10. After the Book of Mormon bashing on the political web sites, I was indeed happy to read that inspired book this morning and know that it is true scripture and that it supports the bible. I have the feeling things are going to get a bit messy from here on out. No fence sitting. Just hope I am up to what may come. I speak softly ( ahem, sputter, cough) but I carry a big hockey stick.......and today I feel very much like using it.

10 on Tuesday

Just random thoughts on a Tuesday morning...10 of them...(this doesn't mean there are only 10 random thoughts in my noggin on any given Tuesday. There are hundreds of random thoughts, ALWAYS coursing about in my brain..unfortunately at 2 in the morning as well...But there is a fun thing on many a persons blog called 10 on Tuesday. It simply means you get to hear my random thoughts.- lucky you!!)

1. Today I learned of a dear friends father passing away last night- quietly and unexpectedly - but thankfully he is gone on to better things, places, and people. I can't help but think how grateful I am to know that there is life after this.

2. I hate painting landscapes...HATE IT -LOATH IT- DESPISE IT! How many ways can you paint trees and ground? After 22 years of painting for a publisher, I wish I had the intestinal fortitude to tell them -meh- not gonna paint landscapes, beyond and beneath me, pound sand! But no- I keep hacking away at it with brush and paint, hoping one will magically look decent! SIGH!

3. I am feeling quite lucky to have most of my family close. My daughter and son in law and 3 little boys are just 2 minutes away. Paige and Eric want to move back to Alberta so I am holding my breath thinking how great that would be. please oh please oh please oh.......

4. I just did a crazy thing. After committing to hockey on Tuesday nights (love of my life) I took on curling on Monday nights and then if that's not enough, I said I would be a nun in the community playhouse production of Sound of Music. x country and or snow shoeing with the mountain mommas on Thursdays and Temple assignment on Fridays. hhhmmm. Well at least I won't have time to be board with winter blues, eh! I actually just finished all the set designs for the play and I think they are going to be really great. The play is March 14-23. Wish me luck- the nuns songs are all in Latin. Gaudeamus Domino!

5. Well I got my wish- it snowed-all of maybe 2 inches- but it also got really cold...bogger sticken tongue frozen to metal cold. 36 below zero cold last night. LOVE IT!

6.Did I mention I love studying with the Book of Mormon made Easy. Yeah I did, but I really do love it. You gotta get these books!!!

7. My mother in law had us take her 14 year old cat to the vet to be sent to heaven because she just couldn't do it. She was very upset. The thought occurred to me that most people would like to be the one who actually sends a cat, or all cats for that matter, to heaven-shame on you all! I happen to love animals, but yeah, that separation from one you've grown attached to is rough. I felt her pain. A little too much as it turns out. Stewart feels like the grim reaper. Can't say as I blame him, poor guy, but I just can't do it.

8. I decided the other day that I need more music in my life. Music is a great thing. Love music. Wish I could play an instrument, but I don't think that is on the agenda. Not much talent in that area. I can sing though- not like a solo, but I can read music at least. I know we aren't supposed to envy other people but I do. Those people who can play the piano- I would trade my left arm to be able to do that. (Obviously I would like to keep my right arm so I can make a living, but I could do without my left arm if I could play the piano!) Yeah I know a one armed piano player is probably not in demand...oh you get my point!!!

9.I had a thought the other night while helping Whitney get ready for a HUGE dinner party. The thought was I am so happy and thankful that my daughter has such great friends and that they actually seem to think of me as sort of a friend as well. What a great bunch of people!!

10. I am going to live by the adage that a body in motion stays in motion. If I make it through this winter that is. I do so hate the thought of getting old and decrepit! Gotta love winter activities!

New Years Resolutions....GHAAAHH!

I am NOT going to apologize for not blogging- my blog, my rules- including ignoring it for a month. I ignored the blogging world because it was Christmas and it was busy! Lot's of cooking, eating, playing of games and eating, curling and eating and x country skiing and eating and lets not forget the eating. We spent lots of time with Whitney and Brad and the 3 little boys which is the joy of my life. I am so grateful and glad they are living close by!!! Paige and Eric came for three weeks and they brought their cat, who was amazing and just sat in her little crate like a seasoned traveler, well behaved feline, unlike our cats who literally SCREAM bloody murder the entire 20 minutes to the vets. This cat spent 9 hours traveling from the Fizzell abode in Vancouver to the Robinson abode in Alberta in a small carry on- She endured a walk to and a ride on the sky train, a 2 hour wait at the airport, an hour and 1/4 airplane flight, then a 2 1/2 hour drive in a car.... with no tranquilizers! I tell you all this because when we moved to Raymond from Denver, I gave our cat not one but two tranquilizers and put her in a huge crate so we could drive to Raytown. It was a 16 hour drive. She didn't even make it out of the driveway. I realized that there was no way in heaven or hell that I could listen to the sounds of that demon harpie in the back of the van for 16 minutes let alone 16 hours. Sounds like I had never heard before, coming from a pretty decent cat, but now amplified to ear shattering decibels. I drove her to a dear friends house and asked her to take the cat to the pound for me. I threw in the nifty cat kennel to spice up the deal. This dear friend must have seen the desperation on my face because she just said ok, we'll take care of it. They actually kept said cat and gave her a good home, for which I am eternally grateful, but seriously- it was like listening to someone being tortured to death in a slow painful way. Paige's cat let out a few soft squeaky meows then went to sleep. Who does that? This cat did and I was grateful. She was most exemplary (except for a first bout with being in heat, where upon she turned into a strumpet for a few days...which was interesting, eye opening, educational in a wild kingdom kind of way, strange and funny all at the same time.) Speaking of heat- where the shmell is winter? No snow!- long sleeve or sweater weather most of the time. I need my cold, people!!!! I need a reason to wear sweats all day! I need to go outside and feel my nose hairs stick together and hear the crunch of snow when you walk on it. I need a place to go sledding and x country skiing and snow shoeing and possibly ice skating! Open water in Waterton? What's with that?? pfff- at this rate the global warming freaks will use this as fodder! Also not going to apologize for calling the global warming freaks freaks. I see this "movement" as a way for politicians, environmentalists and fat cats to regulate and choke the economy and get rich themselves....cough ...sputter...Al Gore...cough.. ahem... Yes we need to conserve and respect the earth but people, come on- the earth has always cycled in and out of ice ages and warming trends. Get a grip! I wax political...my blog, my rules. Whoah, I covered a few topics there- rein it back in, Louise!!! That, my friends, is how a menopausal mind works. From cats in heat to global warming in one fell swooping breath- Amazing and incredible, no?

The new year always seems to brings on reflections of ones life and maybe makes one decide on things that need to change or be worked on. I hesitate to actually write these things down because there will be written proof of the failures, dang it. But here goes, my 2012 New Years Resolutions, in no particular order.

1. As always I have to work on losing the 5 pounds I throw on like a warm blanket at Christmas, (see above list of Christmas activities...ie the eating parts) which takes approximately 3 weeks to add on but takes 6 months to get off. I usually get the Christmas 5 gone for good just in time to sit on the beach at the lake for 3 months and then it comes back. Except last year I trained for a mini triathlon so it didn't come back so that was an improvement...which I plan to repeat in 2012. Dang koolaid popcorn. Last night I tried desperately to just throw an entire bucket of it in the garbage can.. I couldn't do it. It is the love of my life. Mothers milk! Maybe tonight I will have success at throwing it down the drain instead of throwing it down my throat.

2. After events in my life which smacked me upside the head with an ear shattering splat, I determined that I need to work on how I think, write or talk to and or about others. Sometimes the Lord lets you step in it up to your eyeballs to teach you a much needed lesson. I now make a conscious effort to think before I speak. I don't write anything anywhere that I would not want another person to read. It is a daily process and even though I am not perfect and still slip up in the thought department, there has been a much needed change. It will continue in 2012. I reserve the right to complain ...loudly, and vehemently about politicians, especially American ones. They don't count. My head would explode. But I will try to keep it somewhat respectful and to a dull roar.

3. I am going to actually STUDY the scripture instead of just reading them, more precisely the Book of Mormon. I have the best way to do this and thought it would be good to share it with you- Get yourself the books written by David J Ridges. They are called The Book of Mormon Made Easier- ( or old testament, new testament etc) He writes the scriptures with emphasis, cross references and commentary inserted all through it that help you understand it better and he also brings out things that I had never thought of. I LOVE it! I have found myself reading and marking and noting things for 2 hours sometimes and I actually look forward to the morning. I can't wait to do the next chapter. I do a chapter a day...except when I can't wait to see whats next like this morning- 4:30 am to 6:30 am- one of those times you can't sleep. But those sleepless times will not be wasted again- they will be filled with great study time! WHOOOAH!!! I think it may take a few years to get through the 2 volumes for the Book of Mormon but it will be so worth it!!

4. I want to make 2012 a year of saving money instead of just living paycheck to pay check with a bit put aside. I realized I am getting old and Stewart is getting even older. It's time to start getting serious about retirement and what we will live on. It's a scary thought, because we are basically self employed, and although we have put some aside for retirement, it is not enough. It would help if the American economy would straighten out...2012 and hopefully a new direction in the American Government!! Fingers crossed!

I am a believer in not making to many resolutions because then they are all too daunting and you just give up. Make a few that you can and will actually accomplish and you've got a winner, not a wiener, says I !! I wish you all a happy and productive New Year !!! SNOW, DANG IT!!!

a living eulogy for Dad

SHEEESH! I got busy with life and forgot my living eulogy for my Dad. SO here it is....
Frank Calvert Davis Jr. hhhhhmmmmmm. He got lots of names too. Perhaps my parents didn't give me a middle name because they had so many of their own -they must have thought I would be happy with two. (one eyebrow moment)

My Dad was a 99 and 9/10% happy all the time kind of guy. At least that is how I saw him when I was little. Dad was the jokester around our house. One of my very favorite memories was the game of "touched you last." Mom would decide it was bed time (probably because she had had enough of us) but I am thinking Dad wasn't in agreement. So while brushing my teeth, Dad would stand next to me with the pretense of making sure I got every last tooth, and then calmly tap me on the back and say touched you last, then he would streak out of the bathroom. Game on! I would run after him, come to a corner, smack him and yell touched YOU last. This went on for about 10 minutes, with us running like nuts all over the house screaming and laughing until Mom would say "Frank!" in that Mom voice which meant enough! So Dad would say ok truce and haul me off to bed. Sometimes my brothers got into the frenzy too and that was complete bedlam. He would put me in bed, lean down for a goodnight kiss and whisper "touched you last" GAHHHH! The entire shenanigans started all over again. We'd get away with it for about another 5 minutes and then the "FRANK" was real and we knew we couldn't push Mom much more- not that we didn't try, but it was a hoot.

My Dad made Christmas a time of magic- mostly because he could make you wait for everything- the tree, a picture taken, presents, candy parties, about any part of Christmas he could drag out and make into a waiting game for ever, until you were so whipped up into a frenzy you couldn't see straight, it was pretty heady stuff. He also took us on summer vacations that were so fun. I remember waiting for him to bring a trailer home that he had rented, and then we would pack it with food and clothes and mostly fishing tackle and at 4 am we would head out for parts unknown...wait... we always knew where we were going- Bear Lake and Yellowstone. But he did take us to California and Disneyland Colorado and Arizona and Canada and the entire west coast and many other great places. Sometimes he would make up songs while we were driving, and play games with us to keep us from killing each other on long drives.
I had a wonderful childhood!
My Dad was not around on Sundays a lot because he was always attending to one church calling or another, either in the stake or our ward. I remember him in bishoprics, as a stake or ward clerk and I remember that I knew that serving in the church was important because my Dad made it important. He was organized and meticulous and I learned that you don't say no and you do your best.
He worked at the Deseret News and I loved going and visiting him while he was at work. I remember the red grease pencils he used to edit the paper, and the metal plates that ran on a track on the floor to the different rooms and the huge rolls of paper whizzing past your head for miles. Dad took us to all kinds of events and he always had his "press pass" which he used to procure good parking spots and it always worked for some reason. Dad even introduced me to the love of my life...Ice hockey"
I think Dad spoiled us, but we didn't know it at the time. Only looking back now do I see that he gave us every wonderful childhood memory that a child could want.
He honored his parents. I did not know my Grandma or Grandpa Davis, but I was given a love of them through my Dad. He also honored my Mothers parents, and made sure they were a large part of our lives.
Dad was also a photographer. This brings back some not so fond memories as he took FOREVER to take a picture and wiggly kids aren't too fond of standing still, but he was good at it and I loved being in his darkroom "helping" him develop his film.
Dad was always fun and happy- except when we did something wrong and then he was just sad with us. I don't remember too many really angry times- but he really hated it if you left your shoes in the family room by the couch..Then you would hear your name and then 2 bangs as he threw them up the stairs. I hated that!
Dad was patient with us, and kind, but he didn't let us get away with things that weren't right. He taught us the gospel simply by his example. He taught us to work and to do a good job, and he taught us to have fun and joy in life. He took me fishing and to hockey games and sledding and we played tennis and racquetball and went snowmobiling and he didn't care if I was a girl. And when I got older and set him aside for other males, he waited patiently for any time I could give him, and he didn't complain about it.
He treated my mom, LJ he called her, with love and humor and respect, and he did NOT let us treat her any differently- If you want to see him mad, just disrespect my mother.
He loved animals and he let us have dogs. I thank him for that.
Words I would use to describe my Dad are honest, fun, hardworking, conscientious, intelligent,
a tad on the obsessive compulsive side, loyal, spiritual, thrifty, generous, and humble.
I have watched my Dad serve 3 church missions and countless hours on genealogy and temple work.
He was an avid fisherman, played many sports and loved airplanes. One of my favorite things to do with Dad was go out to the airport and watch the airplanes land and take off.
As Dad got older, he was plagued with health problems but this didn't stop him form church service. The saddest part of watching my parents age is that they are not the same people I grew up with, who made my youth so wonderful, but they are independent and they don't seem to want to be a burden, which might not be a bad thing. I think we morn our parent death twice. When they aren't who we grew up with and when they pass to the other side of the veil.
I love you Dad, and hope for you a joyous reunion with your parents and brothers and sister some day. In know that the Lord will be able to say well done, thou good and faithful servant.

I heart Vancouver!

Paige and Eric moved to Vancouver British Columbia at the end of August, and I just couldn't wait any longer to go for a visit- So last week, Stewie and I jumped on a plane (no small task for us rural folk) and flew to the most beautiful city in the entire world. Well I wouldn't know, because I haven't been in very many big cities- but compared to the ones I have been in- Salt Lake City, Athens, New York, London, Atlanta, LA, San Diego, Portland, Seattle, Las Vegas, Chicago...hmmm I do have a few to compare it to. Vancouver is absolutely breath taking. You wouldn't know it from the few paltry pictures I took with my own camera- but there are some beauties on Paige's camera.
This is Paige and Eric at the Olympic torch.

The leaves were still on the trees... red maples everywhere. I couldn't get enough of them- Yellow oak trees and every shade of orange and pink. I was fascinated by the wet gray pavement and the colors of the leaves on top of it. I am hoping to get some pictures off of Paige's camera- I took a bunch of the maple trees. Here in Alberta, we have very few red trees and the leaves get blown off the trees so quickly and they dry up- In Vancouver the leaves are always wet and pretty, even on the ground. My next painting is going to have this wonderful color palette in it!! Vancouver is also the cleanest city I have ever been in- Not one SPECK of litter ...ANYWHERE!
We walked for hours- along the waterfront, in the city, in Stanley park and Granville Island.



It was amazing to me to be right there on the ocean, but have mountains right there too. The best of both worlds!! People live right on the water in the harbor, on house boats! It was a bit gray and rainy but it always seemed to clear and be nice for a while.
We also ate our way through the city. Wow it's expensive, but I now have 2 things on my list of best things I ever ate. 1. Salted caramel gelato from Bella Gelatoria on Burrard Street. YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS!!

Hands down the best thing I ever ate. I made everyone go there twice!
2. Crab cake at Le Crocodile- French food is not only delicious but it is always pretty to look at.
YUMMMMMMMMM!
(I gained 4 pounds in 4 days...yikes)

We stood and watched the float planes land and take off right there in the harbor.
It kind of made my heart skip a beat to watch them come in at such a steep angle, look like they would never get off the water when they took off, and knowing that Paige will eventually be on one of those planes to go do court reporting/stenographer duties in Victoria. We didn't go to Victoria- but next time hopefully we can do that. It's 15 minutes to Nanaimo and a bit longer to Victoria by plane- 5 hours on the ferries. Both make my stomach turn but that's what they make gravol for, right? You only live once on this earth.
We also saw a bit of this...
Nap time- I guess we were just too much for the munchkins. Paige and Eric couldn't keep up with us.
On Sunday, we also got to be there for Eric's ordination to the Aaronic Priesthood. We will go back in the spring for Eric to be made an Elder. Happy days and Huzzah! We are truly blessed.
As AMERICAN Thanksgiving is almost upon us, I have so much to be grateful for.
A husband who spoils me totally and completely rotten and supports everything I do. 3 children who are the most amazing human beings and are my life, 2 son in laws who love my daughters and put up with our Robinson ways, 3 grandsons who have given me nothing but shear joy and bliss, goodly parents who gave me the perfect childhood and now face life's hardest challenges with little complaint, extended family who I see rarely but are always in my heart and have shaped my life more than they know, friends who support me, keep me company and amused and accept me even when I do and say stupid things, a job with good honest people who push me to better artwork, fairly good health to still play and hike and do the things that bring me joy, and most of all, a faith and testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ. And this year I am especially thankful for a sweet niece who when I was at my very worst gave me the very best of herself and forgave me for being small minded. Linds- I can never take back hurtful words, but I will never forget the lessons you taught me.
Happy thanksgiving to all and if you are ever in Canada- don't skip Alberta on your way to BC- both are beautiful in their own ways, EH!

I hate that cat!

Here's why- among other reasons. Last Sunday I came home from church and there were bird feathers ALL over my closet. I cleverly deduce that there has got to be a dead bird SOMEWHERE in there, (no shizzz, Sherlock...ya think?) but I can't find it. Stewart and I tear everything out of the closet- no small feat -and we couldn't find it. I am chucking shoes and pants and hiking equipment left right and center, all the while cringing because at any minute I am going to find that little beat up body and I just KNOW it's going to fall on me or touch me-SHUDDER! SO we figured maybe she ate it. Don't know why I thought that because she never eats them, just leaves them for us to dispose of. So we ignore it. I vacuumed up the feathers, put everything back and went about my business- knowing full well that at some point I am going to smell dead bird. The next day the cat is making a horrible sound. Kind of guttural and growly. And the day after that she can't meow at all- which is actually kind of nice, because she meows like she is being strangled and it's loud and annoying and wakes me up 2-3 times a night. Maybe she really did eat that bird and now it's lodged in here throat! BWAHHAH serves her right. It's not all bad, mind you. She just kind of squeaks or has that growly sound, which is actually quite funny. She sounds kind of like the girl in the Exorcist- I know that cat is possessed but now she even sounds like she is. It's a little scary.
So last night I walk in my room and I smell this dead smell, and I know there has GOT to be a dead bird in there- We again took EVERYTHING out of the closet and still we couldn't find it. GAHHH! The guy is at our house putting in carpet. I wonder could it be a glue smell? Nice try- it's not glue, dang it, and I know it. Maybe it's my hiking boots. That is a good possibility. They do get a good work out. I bravely stick my nose in my boots. CH#@UZ**SUSH! nope- not them- they stink but it's not the same stink. I throw all my shoes out of the closet. (seriously would you ever wear all these shoes...EVER???)

SIDE NOTE: Why do we keep every pair of shoes we've ever owned? Because our feet never gain weight or sag or get wobbly bits like the rest of us. They just hang out down there always being the same and shoes are easy to buy because you don't look fat in shoes, right? Think about it.

So yes, now all the shoes are all over the bedroom and I can't smell the smell in the closet as much-That should have been my clue- but no- I still think that tiny corps is in there, but can I find it? NO sir. I look into ever single shoe! No bird. I can't smell it now, so again I ignore it but for good measure, I douse the entire closet and it's contents with fabreeze. Now it smells like dead bird and purfume...really strong perfume. I am now thinking at some point this dead bird will become a skeleton and then it won't stink and my life will go on as before, ignorance is bliss and all.... SHUDDER! But I have to go help put stuff back in the newly carpeted rooms, so I leave the graveyard for now, in the hopes that it will just magically disappear.

Stewart came downstairs about an hour later and shoves my running shoe under my nose and says is this what you smelled? I am thinking "Well dang, you dolt, it's a running shoe. Of course it's not going to smell like roses!" GAG- it's the dead bird! Shoved right down low in the toe so I couldn't see it. Stewart wants to know why I didn't check ALL the shoes, and I said I did! I looked into every blessed one of them. BUT I was most certainly NOT going to shove my hand down into all those dark dank shoes with the knowledge my hand was going to light upon a dead, smelly, squishy bird.
ANOTHER SIDE NOTE! Have you ever felt a dead, lifeless anything? I don't know what it is but touching lifelessness is not something I relish. Once my old boyfriend had some huge geese he had shot and for some unknown reason I picked one up by the throat. I pride myself on not being a screaming girl. I dropped that bird so fast and yup- I screamed. Oh the shame. I will never forget how it felt. Soft but lifeless and limp and not at all what I expected..(not sure just what I expected) but ever since then touching something dead is not a pleasant experience.

My running shoe is now out in the garage, minus one bird, but not allowed back in the house. I don't quite know what to do with it. Right this very minute I am thinking about the horror that might have ins-sued should I have attempted to put that shoe on my unsuspecting foot. OH MY GOSH!!!! pfff - I don't love running, who needs running? I really do hate that cat!!!